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not a word…is this really the end?

No reply from him…is this how we end everything?…

i emailed G, cuz i miss him too fucking much…

first day back, it was a three hours delay in the airport, so i arrived home at almost three am, didn’t shower, i went to sleep.

got up in the morning, rrgardless of how much i didn’t want to…cleaned up the house, had a shower, started washing clothes…

had nails done after lunch, the girl who has been doing my nails said it’s her bday today, so i bought her a small cake afterwards, she was happy, i hope…

my cell arrived, i logged into the new wechat, chatted with DD for a bit, i do miss working with them, and it kills me to think he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore cuz he didn’t add me…

i miss him so much, and i feel bad, it’s ok he doesn’t like me but i shouldn’t have cut him off like i did…just like how i have always wished someone wouldn’t do the same thing to me…

i am a horrible person…

During the most terrifying turbulence above air, i could only think of that, i haven’t kissed my cats enough, i haven’t seen Cessy’s daughter, i haven’t cooked sweety cake for xiaoyuan, i haven’t tried space cake in Groningen, i haven’t told you i love you.

I miss you, Ozy.

It’s been a week since it happened… haven’t spoken to him yet neither know how to…
Flying back to bj tonight, gonna have to step into that house again and try to face everything… can’t run, not an option…
As much as i miss him, i can’t reach out, it kills me inside…

Wake up early. Drink coffee. Work hard. Be ambitious. Keep your priorities straight, your mind right and your head up. Do well, live well and dress really well. Do what you love, love what you do. It is time to start living.
Thank you for the reminder. Needed to read this. (via dream-on-darling)
yes. (via therewillbewaves)

Had my hair cut tonight by my mom, about 15cm, hope my mom knows how important it is.

Still not heard anything from G, is it really that easy to cut me out off his life?…

The time we spent together, you made me want to be a better person, so i know i need you.

The night we met Avi, i made you walk with the umbrella above your head,you laughed, so i know i was in love.

I know you are tired, frustrated, confused, but still want to make a difference, your ambition, all these feelings are valid and i care.

I loved you, i still do, and I probably will for a long while, and as much as i know, you don’t feel the same way, so unless you want to give it a real shot for just you and me, maybe we shouldn’t speak to each other anymore.

It hurts like having my arteries opened, me sitting here, not knowing how to fade away the images of you that have been imprinted into every inch of this house, new eps of Welcome to Sweden, Shimimi, Felix, the empty corner over my bed, your voice, your smile, everything…

I miss you…

&

It’s been five days, I’m still dead inside, and i still cry when i think of you, your smile, your eyes, everything.
I know you have made the best choice for yourself, and i do respect that, i know eventually I’ll be ok, just right now, it hurts so much, i can’t think of anything…
I miss you so much…

Dieser Abschied war mehr als nur ein Abschied.
Es war wie sterben.
This goodbye was more than just a goodbye. It was like dying. (via germanlanguagerocks)
Sometimes we must undergo hardships, breakups, and narcissistic wounds, which shatter the flattering image that we had of ourselves, in order to discover two truths: that we are not who we thought we were; and that the loss of a cherished pleasure is not necessarily the loss of true happiness and well-being.
Jean-Yves Leloup (via highanxietiessupport)

So we are done I guess..

So it’s officially over, he is gone.

the-grace-of-cas:

sonianeverland:

hey

hey friend

dont kill yourself tonight ok

you have a really pretty smile and i know its not always easy to manage one but itd be a bummer if we never had the chance to see it ever again

youre really important and you matter a lot so stay safe and try and have a nice sleep

I would like a moment to thank the people who reblog post like this so that it eventually shows on my dash.

It is keeping me alive